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One of your direct reports just resigned.

Four moves for the next ten minutes, and the two weeks after, not a general essay on retention.

01
React like this was possible, because it was
Visible shock tells them, and everyone who hears about it, that you weren't paying attention. Even if it's a surprise, respond like someone who takes it seriously, not someone caught off guard.
02
Ask the real reason, once, without pressure
"Is there anything that could have changed this?" is a fair question to ask exactly once. Pushing past a clear no turns into pressure, and pressure is what people remember about their last two weeks.
03
Decide on a counter-offer before they ask, not after
A counter-offer decided in the moment looks reactive and rarely fixes whatever actually made them leave. Know your position on money, and on flexibility, going in.
04
Protect the last two weeks, for them and the team
A resignation is contagious information. How you handle the transition, publicly and privately, is what the rest of your team is actually watching.
On the Counter-Offer

Most counter-offers fail, even the ones that get accepted. Money alone rarely fixes whatever made someone start looking in the first place, it just delays the departure by a few months. Before you counter, ask yourself honestly: if they say yes, has anything actually changed, or have you just bought time? If the answer is money was genuinely the only issue, a real counter can work. If it wasn't, a raise without addressing the real cause usually just moves the resignation date.

In the Moment

"Thank you for telling me directly, I know that's not always easy. Before we get into logistics, is there anything about the role or the team that, if it were different, would have changed this? I want to ask once, honestly, not to talk you out of it if your mind's made up."

Running Your Own Exit Interview

HR usually runs a formal exit interview, but the conversation you have as their manager gets more honest answers, if you ask well and don't get defensive. Ask what made them start looking, not just what made them say yes to the new offer, those are frequently different answers. Ask what you personally could have done differently, and actually sit with the answer instead of explaining it away. The goal isn't to win the conversation, it's to learn something that helps you keep the next person.

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