The money conversation rewards prep, not nerve. If you're figuring out your number in the room, you already lost.
Parts of this are for a raise, parts are for a new offer. I'll tell you which.
If it's a raise, you did most of the work before this meeting.
A raise is a paper trail that shows you're already worth more. The meeting just reads it out loud.
I track my wins every 2 weeks. Just an hour. I write down what I shipped, who I helped, and what broke that I fixed. By review time I have 10 to 15 detailed examples. Even a bad manager has a hard time saying no to that much detail.
I use this template to track mine: Accomplishments Tracker Template. If you don't have that list, start it now. It makes the negotiation 10x easier.
Before you walk in, know two numbers. On paper.
Not in your head. On paper.
Target: what the work you're actually doing is worth. Check Levels.fyi and Glassdoor, and ask 2 people you trust. Don't guess.
Walk away: below this, the answer is no. Not “let me think about it.” No.
If you don't write them down, you'll negotiate against yourself live. I did. I lost $15k on an offer once because I said my number and then immediately said “but I'm flexible.”
For an offer, let them say a number first.
Whoever anchors first gives away information. If they ask “what are you looking for?” redirect once:
“What's the range you have approved for this role?”
Say it once. If they push again, give your target.
Don't only negotiate base. Negotiate the whole package.
“Can we look at the whole package together, not just base?”
Base is one line item. You have way more room when you add bonus, equity, start date and remote days.
Now you have 4 levers to pull instead of 1. Be cautious about “better work life balance” and “unlimited PTO.” Every company says it. Unless you know someone who actually works there, treat it as a claim, not a fact.
If you're in the US, compare benefits closely. Health insurance can take a big chunk out of your paycheck, so a higher salary might not be higher once you add it up.
Nothing is real until it's written.
“This sounds great. Can you send it in writing so I can review before I give notice anywhere?”
Verbal means nothing. Don't quit. Don't tell your boss you're leaving. Don't turn down other interviews.
The actual ask, then shut up.
“I've really enjoyed the work on [project], and over the last 6 months I've [cut onboarding 20% and taken on 2 reports]. Based on what similar roles are paying, I'd like to talk about bringing my comp to [target]. Can we discuss it?”
Then stop talking. Seriously. The silence will feel 10x longer to you than to them. Don't fill it by discounting yourself.
This week: start your win list and write your two numbers on a piece of paper.