Working with a micromanager is extremely difficult. And deflating.
Honestly, you'll probably run into this throughout your career. Maybe they were never trained. Maybe that's the only style they've ever seen. I wouldn't spend energy on why. Focus on what you can control.
Here are 4 tricks that have worked for me to get them to back off.
1. Start with what great looks like.
This is where I'd actually start. If they're vague and constantly correcting you, they probably don't know what great looks like either. They think their job is just pushing you to be a little better, a little better.
You have to get the end goal down first.
Ask very casually: “What does good or great look like to you on this? I want to build it right the first time.”
That one question prevents 3 rounds of rework.
2. Solve what they keep asking you about.
If they feel like they're getting all the info they need, they'll stop hovering.
“I'll send you a summary every few days so you don't have to ask.”
“Let me build reporting so you can see updates anytime.”
Send the update before they ask:
“Quick update: draft on track for Thursday, no blockers. I'll flag it fast if that changes.”
30 seconds for you saves 5 pings from them.
3. Give them a controlled way to feel involved.
You want them to think: “I looked at it, check, I'm good.”
A 15 minute standing sync. Ask them to approve something before it moves on.
“Let's grab 15 minutes every Tuesday so you're never wondering where things stand. I'll come with the update already pulled.”
You own the agenda. To them, it's less uncertainty.
4. Know when it's a bad habit vs. a bad fit.
Sometimes you can't fix it. That's the only management style they've ever seen. Maybe that's how they feel useful.
Run steps 1 to 3 for a month. If nothing changes, that's information, not a personal failure.
If you're exhausted after that, you now have a bunch of wins that met their high bar. Project was great, client was happy.
Use that. Quietly start looking, inside the company or outside. Don't tell them you're looking. Keep the paycheck, look on the side, and use this job to get to a better one.
This week: pick one project and ask your boss, “What does good or great look like to you on this?” Then send the first update before they ask.