Nobody respects someone because they tried to be respected. They respect someone because of what that person did, repeatedly, when nobody was specifically watching for it.
It's tempting to think respect comes from being impressive, the sharpest answer in the meeting, the most polished deck. Those things help. They're not what respect is actually built on.
01
Does what they say they'll do.
This one trait beats almost every other. Two people are handed a two-week project. One realizes on day nine it'll run three days over, and says so immediately, with a reason. The other realizes the same thing and says nothing, hoping to make it up, then delivers late without warning. Both land at the same time. Only one of them gets handed the next important project without hesitation.
02
Tells the truth even when a softer version would be easier.
A straight answer costs more in the moment and pays out every time after. "I don't think this plan accounts for the holiday freeze" in a planning meeting is harder to say than nodding along, and it's exactly why the people who say it get believed the next time too.
03
Treats people the same whether or not they can do anything for them.
Two people give the exact same presentation, equally polished. One is warm with their boss and short with the support-function coworker who built half the data behind it. The other treats both the same. People notice exactly who gets your patience, and they draw conclusions about your character from it, not just your manners.
Competence still matters, nobody respects someone who consistently does bad work. But past a baseline level of competence, the differentiator is almost entirely consistency of character.
Reputation is what people say about you when there's no reason to be polite about it.
There's no shortcut through this, and that's the useful part. It means it's available to anyone, regardless of title, tenure, or how charismatic they are. It's built through hundreds of small, unremarkable moments nobody is individually keeping score of. The pattern they add up to is what people call "someone I trust." Start adding to it in your next conversation, not the next career milestone.